How do things get so convoluted and twisted so they don't appear at they really are? How can things that may be completely innocent turn into something that makes you feel attacked, threatened or stabbed in the back?
Friendships broken, relationships lost because of the way things "appear" to look on the outside without ever seeing the true motives behind them. Hatred and wars have ensued because of miscommunication or lack of communication.
Honesty, true honesty and transparency are VITAL components for peace.
Can we ever be completely real with each other? No holds barred; naked? Can we? Is it even possible?
We're always so concerned with stepping on toes; or hurting someone's feelings; or how it makes us look; that we are hindered from being completely honest.
Do we know how to speak the truth in love? Can we receive the truth in love?
How can we wear our hearts and our minds on the outside for all to see our TRUE motives, our TRUE thoughts, our TRUE self. Is it even possible?
I don't know.
posted by Tracy @ 12:07 PM
7 Comments:
I don't know either, Tracy, but we HAVE to try...I love you, my FRIEND!
"let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit."
—kahlil gibran
This was a quote from Darla's recent blog. I think it speaks well to what you wrote...
I just started reading The Bait of Satan. I have to face the reality that I am easily offended, hurt, jealous, envious, etc.... My dad was an acutely sensitive person who would take the smallest action (or inaction) of another person and make into the biggest offense. Most of the time he would then never speak to the person again - ever. Unfortunately, I came with that gene. I have let it ruin friendships and have lost people I love because of it.
I want it to stop, so I thought maybe the book would shed some light. Maybe it could be the next study we do as a group?
I love you and your family, and I feel so sensitive to the things transpiring around us. Let's be different, and do the hard things, be real with each other, and forgive and love. If we can't do it with those we are close to, I doubt we could do it with strangers....
I think it is possible Tracey, but it is work to get there! I have had some personal experience with being very transparent and real with friends and it has met with mixed results.
I actually lost a best friend by being very transparent and telling the hurtful truth. That friendship was not strong enough to survive. However, I have had this type of "real, raw, honest" relationship with another friend and it has grown our relationship even stronger. I have two sets of friends I can be very raw and transparent with and those friendships are VERY strong.
I think the key is TRUST and trust takes time to build. My strongest friendships have a deep level of trust in them. We KNOW we love each other even if we have to talk about hard things. Because I know they love me no matter what and I love them no matter what, I know everything they say to me (and vice versa)is said in love even if it is hard and ugly. I can tell you, I would rather have honest friends that do not fear to challenge me than to have friends who choose to keep the relationship on a more shallow level. That is just my two cents worth.
Thanks you guys. Those are all awesome words of encouragement. I hope to learn to be able to be "completely" honest and transparent with all of you!
I feel the same way as my lovely wife. I just got a screw loose right now.
Just dropping in to say hello. Found you through Jacqui's blog today....
I miss my friends in California...
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