What I'm feeling ...
I'm trying to capture what it is I have been feeling these past few days and this picture really says it all for me. I am surrounded by wonderful, beautiful things; my family, my friends, my community and yet, my heart still aches.
I know the decision for our family to stay here, is the right decision for us at this time. The relief that this has brought for my husband is worth it alone. I know it has not been an easy place for him to be and his desire is for my happiness. So sweet. I want to be happy. There is no reason for me not to be happy, I just don't know how right now.
I'm not looking for sympathy. I am surrounded by so much love, but for today, for me, a little melancholy.
Thanks for listening.
posted by Tracy @ 10:05 AM
6 Comments:
I'm sorry. I'm hurting for you.
I am sorry that you are sad.
"Don't worry about a thing, Every little thing's gonna be alright"...Bob Marley
Tracey your obedience is awesome, what an example for us to learn from. Sometimes God answers "no" to our requests and it is hard to accept. He has a plan for you and your family! I am so happy you guys get to go visit the McDaniel's, I think you really need that right now. Go and have fun and soak up every moment. I think in the midst of this decision, God is giving you a special kiss by providing this trip for you. We love you and are here for you!
Beautiful picture Tracy. I see in it so much. I spent a lot of time alone as an only child. I remember at times feeling very peaceful, but very alone, not as though there was no one around (although most the time there wasn't), but more like there was no one to relate to my feelings. I can see a lot of how I felt in that picture.
Wow for the second time in a month feelings from my childhood that I have not experienced in a long time have popped up. First was when the McDz left. I really haven't had a heart ache like that in a long time. Made me realize i don't want to ever tell my kids "to get over it", "stop crying", "it's no big deal" again.
I think these experiences are helping me to be a better parent, and a better friend. I hope that the experiences you endure will help you to help others. We love you and your family....
I think that we need to live the melancholy as much as other times in our lives. It does no good to hear, "Snap out of it!" We simply must experience all that life has to offer, and sometimes it is tinged with sadness. But from sadness, "joy comes in the morning". The most powerfully wonderful thing about our God, is that He is always there. There is no darkness we can fall into, that He will not catch us in. He will never leave nor forsake us, He will never let us down. We can depend on Him for everything. I love Him and love that you love Him as well. Isn't He wonderful?
PS I loved spending time with both you and Keith this evening!
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